Minuano (Six-Eight)
by Prustrian Informant
Summary: Admission is defeat, is it not? Battling, even with emotions, only ends in pain on both sides. Even as distance closes between a prince and one as chivalrous as a knight, why must this war play within my soul. The stacatto quick life to which the host lives is one that the smooth melodies of the prince longs to accompany.
1. Chapter 1

It's aggravating.  
His hands itched to stroke. His heart, or where it's supposed to be, felt empty. His magenta gaze could only bore through the room of his Parisian home. His feet wanted to put forth only enough energy to get him to that man's side.  
It was only his mind that held him back.  
The gentle rise and fall of his chest though, it made the host's own chest beat in time. Delic's heart wanted to beat in time to that… He yearned, something he had promised himself he would never do. Temptation and desire could only end in pain. That was always what it ended with.  
Still, his heart yearned for another chance.  
This man, barely a man actually, could only bring him more pain. He knew that with every fiber of his head and mind, but nothing seemed to satisfy his need.  
He prided himself on being so logical. Being the straightforward host with a great amount of experience and knowhow…  
And yet one look could steal his breath.  
One murmured greeting could send his heart into the air with flight.  
A single offer for a handshake could make him lust to pull the figure into his arms to spend nights satisfying.  
A single touch of his lips to the flushed man's face could make him want to give up everything he had built with nothing. He wanted to crumble walls, tear down buildings, and quit his job. If it would please this man, he was willing to surrender it all.  
The need to see him pleased was mortifying.  
"Hibiya fall asleep?"  
Delic looked over as footsteps approached. The gentle movement of the red fur trimmed jacket brushing around an otherwise provocatively clad brunet approaching him. The red eyes filled with plans for him. Delic nodded, "He drifted off to sleep a moment ago when I went to get him a glass of water." The glass was still in his hands, destined to never arrive to its destination, lest he give in to his need to cuddle the young man.  
"So set the glass down and come to bed then," Hachimenroppi responded, making it sound so simple.  
Delic couldn't do such a thing. It was impossible. Something he could have done for any other person without a single glance. He was human; he could turn away from anyone else without feeling a need to take them to bed. Any other person…  
"Delic?"  
"I was thinking…" His eyes remained stoic, the emotions captured as much as his heart was.  
"You shouldn't do that," Roppi answered, a bit teasingly.  
He shouldn't do that, but that in his mind was a series of images of what he wanted to do. They were images of everything he would do; everything in his power and grasp that he could do.  
The thoughts sent a chill down his back, knowing he should never consider such a thing.  
The brunet's arms wrapped around him, "and what were you thinking you should do, Delic?"  
"Move back to Tokyo," even as he said it, he could feel how wrong it would be. How foolish it was. Return to the city where this man resided normally? The temptation would never be gone then, he would always have the desire to return just to see him again. Desires were not something he had much experience leaving unattended to.  
Roppi looked up at him a moment before nodding, "that would be nice. These people around here are snobbish; I've been trying to make you realize that for a while. I'm glad you have come to understand."  
The host shut the bedroom door, blocking what he was going to do from his unattainable wish. Lips falling upon the red eyed man before him, arms wrapping around his slender waist; Delic's eyes shut. He felt legs wrap around his waist.  
"You're better than usual," Roppi murmured, breaking their kiss to look up at him lustfully.  
Delic merely placed his work smile upon his features, "Glad to know I haven't lost my touch."  
"Mmmm, far from it," the brunet purred, holding him as Delic walked them to their room. They tumbled to the sheets, Roppi's gaze flickering up to his in challenge. "Think you're getting laid tonight? Do you really think I'll let you simply have your way with me so easily?"  
For once, Delic didn't much care either way. Sex or not, he only hoped he would be able to find a way to fall for Roppi with this second nature awareness he had for Hibiya. Otherwise…  
The ice cold feeling of being alone edged into his senses, a reminder of how lonely it could really be when there was no one around. No. He would never be alone, not if he could help it.

Multiple rooms away, a young prince lay awake. His gaze fixed upon the canopy above his bed, eyes brimming with tears. His heart raced in his chest. The strange feeling in his chest and stomach made him anxious. What was it about his brother's lover that made him want to rip him from Roppi's grasp?  
He had lost his butler, the man rushing off to who knows where to leave him abandoned in his home. The thought of returning home to an empty manor was ghastly, hence why he had run here; Roppi had the next most commendable home. Yet he hadn't expected an eloquent, finely dressed gentleman to be answering the door. Hibiya had nearly slapped him for looking so much like his former butler.  
His mannerisms were anything but Shitsuo's, words slathered with double meanings. Enigmatic to say the least, he had felt overwhelmed throughout dinner. The man had seemed eager to help him with anything he had needed. It was as though time stopped around him, making the prince lose his senses.  
His tale of needing to rest had been true. Without his personal time, he felt like he was drowning in his brother's lover's eyes. He scarcely expected to find himself tripping upon himself, falling as the world spun around him. The floor never hit him though.  
Now he lay here, having feigned sleep for the past eternity as the host had stood in the doorway. An act to which Hibiya was not entirely sure was a French custom. Was it so normal to just peer into another's room and watch him doze for ages at a time? Was it so natural to lay there, hoping that time would allow him to come inside, closing the door so that they could sleep together.  
The bed was so cold.  
But hearing Roppi with him, it had been a much needed reminder. The host was not his, nor did he have any rights to have such strange feelings pertaining to him. So he rolled onto his side, forcing the image of the blond to be paired with the personage of his brother. Delic was Roppi's and Roppi was Delic's.  
He was merely the unexpected guest, to remain here for the weekend and return home.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun had raised over the city early in the morning, the prince feeling no more rested then the night before. Unfortunately, he couldn't sleep. It was forbidding itself from gracing the prince with its presence.  
Therefore he was forced to rise from his temporary chamber, heading for the kitchen. The ground was freezing beneath his feet, a problem that he quite detested. The windows, by whomever's brilliant idea, were left all open a smidgen; allowing the cool morning air as well as the humidity to creep into the hallway.  
Suddenly the idea of returning to his former abode was appealing. He wanted to return to his solitude, to be woken up by a blond butler telling him that the tiles were warmed for his feet and that his bath had been drawn. That he had food being prepared for him by the chef of the home.  
He wanted his old home back, not the empty house he now owned. Not the barren hallways full of silence. Not the kitchen with dishes waiting for an expert to come along and cook.  
It was too lonely.  
How unbefitting it was for a man of his status!  
_"I will wait for you, like I always do! But something there, that can't compare~ with any other~"_  
Hibiya paused, hearing the music now coming to still his morning pondering. He moved quietly through the hallway to the door and froze, seeing the blond gentleman sitting upon the piano bench. His gaze and focus on what he was doing. Fingers skimming along the ivory and ebony as he sang, he seemed to be engrossed in his singing.  
And what singing it was!  
Hibiya could only watch. Any thoughts on missing Shitsuo stilled and broken that voice crowded in his head. All his petty musings were cast aside as he watched a small smile break out on the man's face. The glow that practically thrust itself upon his features threw Hibiya off kilter.  
Never, in his entire life, had he seen such a look.  
He was finished with one song, merely continuing that smile until he started to play another song. His eyes grew hooded as his voice once again captivated the prince. It was as though he had turned an off switch on reality, leaving them in a limbo that seemed to focus and revolve around his singing.  
The singing, his expression, the openness of it all; Hibiya felt like he was intruding upon the man's own thoughts. It made him feel connected, wanted. The urge to move into the room, to earn that gaze and that look and that voice….  
His chest filled with butterflies.  
Hibiya wanted it all. He wanted Delic with a one-minded focus that scared him.  
"DELIC! SHUT UP! IT'S FUCKING FIVE IN THE MORNING!" An object went hurtling into the blond's face before he fell backwards. Hibiya blinked, returning to reality as he looked to see his brother walking in, grumbling tiredly as his coat hung around his frame. "As much as I just love to hear you singing, Delic; do us all a favor and shut your trap."  
The man sat up, rubbing the back of his head and glaring over towards Roppi, "I have to practice some-"  
"Practice at work!" Roppi turned, heading out of the room in a red trimmed whirl of fury. He stormed from the door he had come in from and Hibiya watched the blond sigh, running a hand through his hair before looking over slightly surprised to see the prince there.  
"Hibi?"  
The prince coughed, "forgive my intrusion. I heard you singing and was prompted to observe you."  
If anything, he might as well have said every thought that had crossed his mind as he had watched Delic sing. The host grinned at him, patting the piano bench. "Pipi can't say no if the two of us are playing."  
"Oh no," Hibiya shook his head, "I have not touched such an instrument since I was- Hey!"  
Delic had already crossed the room, pushing him towards the bench. He was coerced into sitting and he felt an arm wrap around his waist as the host took his seat again. He flipped to the table of contents for the book and grinned, "See anything you recognize or want to hear?"  
Hear?  
Hibiya could only look at the listing, recognizing some and knowing that the host could probably sing them all in a manner to which he would find captivating. Temptation was quite strong to lock the doors and make him sing the entire day.  
"No preferences?" The host chuckled, "maybe another time-"  
"That one." He pointed at it and the host went quiet.  
The silence was on both accounts as Hibiya realized what song he had pointed to. Slowly, ever so slowly that it shocked the prince, Delic started to grin. He flipped over to the song and voice rang out through the room quite proudly. "_Why don't we d-do it in the road~?"_  
"HIBIYA IS TRYING TO SLEEP, DELIC! SHUT UP!"  
Hibiya could only blush as the blond continued, and his brother's angry roar got closer.


	3. Chapter 3

Aggressive cutting came from the kitchen counter an hour later, as carmine eyes glowered across the pristine kitchen to where a humming blond sat using a telescope to watch the city streets.  
"Delic, are you going to be heading to work to practice," Roppi's emphasis on the word practice only made the small grin on the blond's features grow.  
"Practice what?"  
"I would assume that noise you were making earlier."  
"You would assume incorrectly, my wondrous vixen," he purred his reply, pulling away casually from the spying object to throw Roppi a playfully flirtatious look. "I have no intention on practicing, seeing how my balls are on medical leave and my back is still aching from breaking a fall off the piano bench."  
"So you're just going to sit there and stare down women's shirts all day," the chopping grew more forceful as Hibiya watched from the sidelines. The duo seemed to not get along half as nicely as he had first thought.  
"Now Pipi-chan, it's impolite to stare." He practically beamed as he said the next statement. "It's also very impolite to be jealous of strangers."  
The knife Roppi was cutting a melon with froze, stabbed into the counter as he went completely still. "…I have no need to be jealous, do I?"  
Delic hummed, returning his attention to the telescope. His face, or what part the two brunets could see revealed nothing. Such a poker face, Hibiya thought, scanning the blond for any sign of a tell. Roppi moved around the counter, his arms slinking over the blond's shoulders as he murmured, his voice threatening violence for any kind of blow off or unsuitable answer, "I have no need to be jealous… do I?"  
Magenta eyes were slowly closed as a smirk presented itself upon the host's features. An arm slinking up to gently rub against Roppi's arm, a soon open gaze turned to perceive the brunet standing behind him; Delic shook his head.  
"What need would I have for anyone outside when I have the greatest person for me sitting in my kitchen?"  
Was it jealousy that washed over Hibiya? He could do nothing but sit there and watch as his brother leaned down, kissing the blond softly. Not that the blond was up for something like that, turning and wrapping his arms around the brunet. His kiss, unlike Roppi's attempt to keep it tame, was more wild, untamed and teasing as he coaxed the brunet to keep kissing him, to make the kiss more meaningful.  
It was like a brain versus brawn communication. While Delic was more instinctive, Roppi was more thought through. Delic was open to body languages, Roppi was all about words. Hibiya blinked as this came to mind, shaking his head and heading towards his room. There was no circumstance to which he would allow himself to be voyeur to such… vulgar activities; especially not first thing in the morning and involving his brother.  
"Hibi!"  
Hibiya turned, frowning a bit at the nickname. His body hovered in the doorframe as he looked at the duo that had been kissing by the window. "Yes?"  
"Get yourself all ready for walking dans la rue," Delic grinned as he spoke.  
"Dans la rue?" His French was little to nothing; the language a tongue rolling, purring, sensual sound to which he had no intention of learning.  
"Down the streets," Roppi clarified, looking up at Delic confused. "Don't you have to work?"  
"And miss the opportunity to show your brother around the romantic capital of the world?" Delic tsked, "I have the weekend off, lucky me. Therefore, your dear brother and I are going to be stepping out and I'm going to be taking him for a walk through the city." As both brunets went to argue, Delic spoke up again quickly. "It might be nice for Hibiya to have seen the sights around the city to at least have something to show for coming all this way."  
Hibiya shut his mouth, feeling foolish for trying to argue. He had come here out of the blue for only a week. If he didn't go see something, it would seem frivolous, like he had only left Japan because he was upset over his butler being gone and his home empty. Roppi was also silent for a moment, looking at Delic in silence.  
"…So you're going to show Hibiya around?"  
Delic nodded, "I am a host after all, isn't showing people a good time what I do best?"  
Roppi shook his head, turning to Hibiya, "if he begins to flirt, hit him. Preferably hard." He began to head back to work at making breakfast for himself when he added, "or just call me. I'll come and show him the consequences of being "a good host.""  
"You're brother is a very vicious person," the white suited blond sighed, walking over to escort Hibiya from the room. The prince hardly had time before he felt the hand on his back, almost immediately followed by that jolt to his system he got whenever the man touched him. His nerves went on end as he was steered from the kitchen towards his bedroom. His gaze flickering up to the blond as the blond sung quietly to the music playing in his headphones.  
It was hypnotic, like being paralyzed as he was yet again captivated by the blond. Nevermind he had just been lip-locked with his brother only moments ago, forget the part that he and Roppi were lovers; Hibiya could not drag his attention away from the fact that Delic was interesting. Fascinating.  
The host sent him into a quandary about his sanity.  
He wanted to know just what happened inside his head. Knowing that the host didn't operate like most people he knew was a thought that beguiled him. Hearing that voice all but purring the French was like a livewire. It sent jolts through Hibiya's senses, without conscious consideration dragging him closer to the blond. The magenta gaze looked over at him a moment before possibly passing off his sudden closeness as pure coincidence.  
Hibiya would normally have been grateful for that, ashamed that he had gotten hung up on a voice like his brother Psyche often so easily had done. At the moment though, he wanted that man's attention, bemused that it was not given to him. His mind turning to instinct as he spoke without a thought, "how can you speak like that?"  
"What's that," Delic frowned a bit, before his cheerful disposition returned, "you mean sing French?"  
"How can you speak it at all?"  
"French is the language of love, my dear prince." He opened Hibiya's bedroom door and held it open for him, "It comes to me as naturally as breathing. Languages are like music, they have their scales of notes and volumes, their forbidden words or mixing of notes, and of course," he gaze darkened as he finished his explanation, "they have their natural sounds or words that send shivers of ecstasy down your spine."  
The door shut as Hibiya stood in the middle of the room, staring at where the blond had stood, the blond's words as enigmatic as ever.


	4. Chapter 4

"You take as long as Roppi to get dressed," Delic stated as Hibiya opened the door of his room. He looked down at the sitting blond and shook his head.  
"Were you waiting here the whole time?"  
"Of course not, I took a shower, a little nap, went for a walk, did my taxes-"  
"Your humor is ill suited to my question," Hibiya blushed a bit, noticing Delic's hair was damp. The host himself always appeared well-rest- Ridiculous. Delic would not dare go to nap when he was going to show him through the city. "Let us just go now, ne?"  
"Alright, alright," Delic chuckled and grabbed his jacket nearby. A sudden smirk appearing on his features as he hurried Hibiya towards the door, Delic at the last moment turned and yelled back into the home. "Pipi-chan~! Sexy-chan and I are going now! Don't wait up!"  
Flustered, Hibiya was pulled along with Delic as something loud hit the door of the house. The sounds of Roppi yelling after the host was loud even from across the street.  
"You seem to enjoy upsetting him," Hibiya observed, seeing the bright grin on the blond's features.  
"I enjoy a good teasing now and then. Besides, what Roppi and I have is more of a laid-back, friends with benefits relationship." The magenta gaze dropped down to the prince, "We both understand that we're just filling a gap in each other's lives for now."  
"I don't think Roppi sees it that way," Hibiya argued. Roppi seemed attached. Was Delic oblivious to it? Roppi was very set on keeping Delic, getting rather furious whenever the host looked or did anything that he didn't like.  
"Roppi's… complicated." Delic finally added, his face growing a bit morose before he bounced back, "Not important right now though. Where to first, my dear prince?"  
"I'm actually not quite sure…"  
"Well then," Delic smirked, "We'll just have to go about with no plans at all then." Hibiya felt himself pulled to a stop and turned, "This, dear prince, is Notre Dame."  
Looking up at the images and the engravings, the attention to detail; he found himself staring.  
The host continued to speak, hands on the prince's shoulders, "it was threatened to be destroyed and then some guy decided to write a book that took place here and the city managed to save it."  
"A book…"  
"Yes, a nice fictional tale. Not my favorite here though." He pushed the brunet towards the door, remaining behind Hibiya.  
"What is your favorite?"  
"A secret," the host whispered into his ear before grinning and moving along into the main room, sitting down respectfully in the back to listen to the events going on near the front. Out of his element, Hibiya sat down next to him, an arm of the blond's soon wrapped around his shoulders as they listened to the foreign babble.  
His attention span on what was being said was soon gone, instead his eyes wandering over the inside of the building. Mocha gaze observing the flying buttresses, the pillars that came to rest around the benches they and others were seated in. More religious figures and even paintings were located around the place. A strange redish pink color was shining down upon the alter, piquing Hibiya's curiosity. Was there some light there? He hadn't known that they enjoyed colored lights in their churches.  
The arm around him was pulled back, making Hibiya look over to see the host bowing his head, beginning what could only be praying. The usually smirking, grinning face was wearing a look of seriousness. His hands clasped together, His magenta gaze hidden behind dark lashes.  
Seeing him and others praying, the prince bowed his own head and began to pray silently. He wasn't sure quite how it worked though. His mind drifted over the man beside him, his prayers going for simply asking forgiveness for wanting someone his brother seemed to be completely wanton for. He asked forgiveness for his desires for the man.  
Again, it seemed to be unaffective. He opened his eyes after a few minutes and looked around, finding everyone to be getting up and heading about with their day.  
"I think that's the first time I've come to church to be able to sit through the preaching and prayers without being nagged that this place is useless and stupid and that we should leave."  
Hibiya looked over at the host, the man wearing a strange look on his features. "It's a church, religion is important to everyone. It gives us the faith to carry on with each and every day."  
"So it does," the host's smile peaked through before he was standing up. "Shall we find the faith to continue our quest through the city then, your highness?"  
"I suppose so…"

~.~

Through museums, over bridges, through flower filled gardens, a rest stop in a small café by the river; the day turning cloudy so that nothing marred the sights around him. The prince found every sound he heard to be the host talking about frivolous things he had done in these places, fact and tidbits he knew about the places. Some things made him laugh.  
"I figured that was probably the greatest pick up line of them all, 'hey, I live in the tallest apartment in paris, want to come back to my place and make love next to God's window?'"  
He found himself holding Delic's hand as it turned to sunset, panting a bit even though they had taken the metro to get to this point.  
"Delic-san…" He looked up at the host, "I think I need another break."  
"Wha- Oh, come here." He pulled the prince close and hoisted him up onto his back before continuing upwards.  
"DELIC! You have to be tired-"  
"You have to see this, you haven't gone to Paris until you have!" He turned and headed up another cobblestone street, then climbing up more stairs. Hibiya looked upwards, towards the building just ahead.  
"What is it?"  
"Huh? Oh, that's Sacre Coeur. Not what we are here to see." He made it to the top stair and headed around the church, through a courtyard full of painters and tourists to a small yogurt shop.  
"Yogurt?" Hibiya didn't see the significance of coming all this way for some food.  
"A small stop to our destination," he responded, ordering himself something before grabbing two spoons and carrying the prince back towards the church they had seen as they had gone up those many stairs.  
"Delic! Where are we going?" He was getting tired of the confusing nature of the blond.  
He knelt down and Hibiya climbed out of his arms, crossing his arms. "We're back in front of that Sacre place. Where are we going?"  
"Right here." He sat down on a stair and patted the ground next to him, "sit."  
"It's filthy!"  
Delic rolled his eyes before taking off his jacket and setting it down. The gesture made Hibiya pause before finally sitting down. The host began to eat his food as Hibiya waited.  
"…What are we waiting for?"  
"Look." He pointed with his spoon, the prince's gaze following only to find himself stunned. The sun was setting now, falling between the now pink clouds and deep blue tinged city. Delic chuckled, "the sun seems to get pierced by the Eiffel Tower during this time of year, vanishing to give way to night…"  
The sun grew smaller, indeed being split from view by the tower in the distance. The sun finally vanished only for the entire tower to light up, glittering in the distance.  
"And then the tower lights up to make up for the sun," Delic finally finished saying. Hibiya watched the view of the city silently, astounded.  
"And you get to see this every day?"  
The host went quiet for a moment. "This is only the second time I have seen it."  
"Why?" If he lived here, he would be climbing all the way up here to watch it every evening. It seemed so perfect a thing to do. He would probably bring a blanket to sit on though, getting Delic's jacket filthy was a bit regretful.  
"The first time I saw it, I was sightseeing. I attempted to show Roppi, but he wasn't quite interested." He snorted a bit as he finished his food, "I'm a bit too much of a romantic at heart, I guess."  
Looking over at the man, Hibiya watched him silently. A romantic? He knew that the man was a bit perverted from time to time, but he wasn't quite so bad. He seemed to just have a terrible sense of humor. He looked back at the city and leaned against him a bit. "It's very peaceful up here."  
An arm slid around his waist as the host hummed a sound of agreement. "It always is. I think the church makes it that way. It seems to purge the whole area."  
"…Do you like living here?"  
Delic looked down at him before shrugging a bit, "Paris. Tokyo. No matter the place, I am always an outsider, looking for a home."  
The prince looked up at him a moment before acting without thought, his instincts kicking in without him being able to help himself. Cupping the man's face, he leaned up and pressed his lips timidly to the host's. His whole person heated up as he felt the lips part against his, a tongue stroking his lower lip before slipping inside. Arms wrapped a bit tighter around him before he was kissing him harder, tongue coaxed into a languid play with the host's. His eyes shut as air slowly left him, leaving in lieu of the host. He could taste the host upon his lips, in his mouth, all over his person, his whole body seemed to hum with need for the host. He wanted to lose himself with the blond.  
The magenta gaze met his as he opened his eyes, their lips parting from one another as air became important again. His face heated up before he felt a thumb stroke over his cheek.  
"You foolish petit prince, you're crying."  
"I am not crying," Hibiya mumbled, averting his gaze only to have it pulled back to the host. Delic leaned up and his mouth pressed against his cheek, tongue trailing up to wipe away the tears. The prince could only blush harder at the gesture.  
"I'm glad," the host replied softly. "I don't ever want to make you cry, Hibi-chan."  
"Commoner," the prince shot at him, thoroughly embarrassed by the host's behavior.  
The comment only made him laugh, "I'll play the commoner role if I can be your princess, dear prince."  
Hibiya's face burned harder if that was possible. Delic looking around before yawning, "alright. I think it is time for us to go home."  
Home…  
Hibiya went his flushed face turn pale. He had kissed Delic. He had done something that was considered something only lovers do, something that he knew Roppi would be upset if he knew. He had…  
What was he doing?!  
Delic belonged to Roppi. The host was with-  
He had said they were merely friends with benefits though. He had said that their relationship was not that of a couple. There was no reason that he could be cast as a bad guy when the only thing he had done was kiss a single man.  
Roppi didn't see it like that though!  
He was pale now, feeling sick with himself for acting in such a peasant type of behavior. It was unbefitting of someone of his status.  
The host offered him his back though, tossing the empty container of yogurt into a nearby trash can. "If you'll hold my jacket, I'll carry you back to the metro station."  
Hibiya climbed up, holding the jacket close as they headed down the stairs to towards the city again. His face pressed against the man's back, he sobbed quietly. Roppi was going to kill him for touching Delic. He would never be forgiven.  
But that wasn't what made him cry.  
What made him cry was the fact that he wanted to take the host and lose himself amongst the lights and cobblestones of the city. He wanted to travel with the cool night breeze and travel through the metro with the host and never be found. He wanted to be held in these arms holding him and let him know that his home was wherever he stood.  
He was a fool, one who needed to go home before he destroyed his brother's happiness.


	5. Chapter 5

His prayers must have been made in vain.  
His eyes were hooded with fatigue, his heart aching in mixed emotions. The host sitting next to him was humming. Humming! How could he be so calm about this? In what universe was it okay to play with his brother's emotions? Roppi never forgot a thing. He would remember and hate him for this forever.  
And it would be forever.  
Any chance of seeing his brother would be demolished. Any chance to ever speak to him would be gone. Once Roppi found out about this, he would be destroyed.  
"Hibi…"  
Caught up in his inner monologue, Hibiya didn't even hear the host. Delic looked at him a moment before turning his head and leaning forward, pressing his lips against the prince's.  
"Hibi, stop thinking about everything. Do what comes naturally to you."  
Came naturally?! "How can you say that!?" He looked at the man as if he was insane. He was! To think that cheating was so easy and clear cut. "Roppi is my brother! We grew up together, I'm one of his only brothers that he gets along with! This is going to ruin everything! It's-"  
Those lips pressed against his and he forgot his tirade, eyes closing as he kissed the man back. An arm wrapping around his waist to gently pull him closer, he found himself swept up again. His thoughts went flying with the wind. There was suddenly nothing bothering him, nothing that couldn't wait. He wrapped his arms around the host and pressed closer.  
No, there was nothing wrong when Delic kissed him. There was no problem, no sorrow, no time limit; nothing to stop him.  
The man chuckled, pulling back only to rest his forehead against Hibiya's, "You need to stop for a moment and think. If he's going to get mad for you giving me a couple kisses, perhaps he doesn't realize what my job is."  
There was a heaviness that consumed his heart at those words. "Your job…" He didn't want to think about it. He wanted to hold onto the dream that Delic felt this way about him, that Delic wanted to have something more with him too. The idea that he didn't was… it was devastating.  
The host seemed to catch on to the look in his eyes and shook his head, "I said that Roppi and I had a friends with benefits relationship. That's all it is. We may act the part of a couple, but that's because we're roommates as well."  
He was so confused. Was the man trying to tell him that they should have a relationship? That he was just doing this because it was part of his job, even when he was off the clock?  
What did he mean?!  
He opened his mouth to ask only to find it full of the host again, thoughts cast to the wind again. Delic was dangerous to his thinking. He couldn't focus on anyone, anything.  
"Stop kissing me," he breathed.  
"Pourquoi? Je t'aime mon roi." (Why? I love you, my king.)  
The purring French pouring into his ears was sending all the heat and blood running down his body. "Stop please…"  
The host threw a smile at him before kissing his lips a final time, leaning back and away from him. "Stop thinking then. You are overthinking it all. Roppi'll be fine. He's a big boy who will get over it."  
"How can you be so calm about this?"  
"Probably because," he flashed that smile at him, "no matter what happens I'm still just going to be doing what I'm doing. Whether I'm with Roppi or with you, that doesn't make me me, only I can decide what makes me myself."  
"I don't quite understand your logic," what made him him?  
"It's like this. I could lose my house, be fired from my job, beaten, raped. Where does that leave me? Well, in a terrible position, yes. That doesn't make me any different as a person than I am right now. I'm still here, still enjoying the same things, hating the same things. I'll still have the same organs inside of me, the same beating heart in my chest. Therefore, why should I worry as though it is life and death?"  
"Isn't that a part of what love is?"  
Delic nodded his head, growing silent. His gaze flickered over to him after a moment, but he remained silent. The metro zoomed through the area, passing by the lit up tower for a moment. "Love…"  
"Hmm," Hibiya had started to watch the outside, taking Delic's advice to not worry about what his brother would think. It wasn't as though there was any big sign that said he had done such a thing anyway.  
"You propose a good argument, Hibi."  
"Why do you call me that?" Hibiya frowned at him, "My name is Hibiya, not Hibi or Hibi-chan."  
"I nickname everyone, your highness." Delic laughed, "if you want to scare Roppi, that would be the fastest way to do it. Me not calling someone by a nickname would be a red flag that something was happening."  
"Oh…" He didn't want that…  
"Ah, and our stop has arrived," he stood up, clearing his throat and trying to hold back a smirk, "Come my dear prince, the coach has arrived before our castle. I will escort you to the safety of our abode."  
"You still lack in humor." Hibiya commented, standing without the host's help. "However I am tired and would not mind an escort home."  
"One escort with a full package of pit stops in every alley we pass coming right up."  
"What do you mean, pit stops?"  
"Inside joke, apparently I'm alone on the inside." His laugh was growing aggravating. Hibiya huffed before walking ahead. He was not going to be some joke for the blond. No, he had better things to do with his time.  
Arms encircled his waist before his feet left the ground. He was suddenly snuggled against a warm chest, feet and back held up by the host as he held him.  
"Relax and enjoy the innocence of the evening, my dear prince."  
"I don't appreciate you laughing at my expense," Hibiya glowered a bit.  
A mere shrug, and the host didn't even pause, "I would never laugh at your expense, Hibi. I'd rather do something else."  
"What?" Hibiya looked up at him and the host shook his head.  
"You are far too innocent for your own good. Where have you been living?"  
"I live in our family's main home in Japan, on the outside of Tokyo. Our parents left it to Psyche and myself, but Psyche and I didn't get along well and he lives with his boyfriend now." Maybe he would invite the duo to live with him, just for the company. Tsugaru was a kind enough fellow. He was rather calm compared to Psyche.  
"See, most people would have only taken that offensively."  
"Why would I take that offensively? You asked a simple question and I answered it."  
The host could only shake his head and kiss the brunet's forehead, "come along, my petit prince. You've been out in the nightlife for long enough."  
"Delic, what did you mean some people would take that offensively? Delic?" Hibiya tugged on his tie until they reached the door to the house, opening it only for the host to set him down and release himself from his tie doubled as a leash. His gaze wandered around the hallway before he spoke up, taking his shoes off before beginning to wander deeper into the apartment.  
"Roppi? Roppi, we're back." He frowned as he received no response. "PIPI-CHAN! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"  
Hibiya stood before the host after slight hesitation, waiting until it seemed like no reply was going to come before he smiled a bit.  
"I thank you for showing me around the city today. It was ver-" The host was kissing him again suddenly and Hibiya squeaked. His thoughts vanished as his arms wrapped around the host. Eyes closing before he was standing on tip toe, trying to even out the height between them. His feet left the floor a moment before his back found the wall of the hallway. Mocha gaze opened a moment only to view what had to be the darkest, most lustful gaze he had ever seen in his life.  
"Let us go into your chambre and make like the francais, mon Coeur." The mixed Japanese and French sent him into a blushing mess, merely holding onto Delic. Unsure quite of what he was agreeing to, he nodded. He was suddenly heading down the hallway, bedroom door opening, his cape fluttering towards the bedroom floor shortly before his shirt was making distance to being taken off. He hardly had the time to voice any comment towards his attire as lips bruised his in kisses. A tongue teased at him a moment before finding itself a companion in Hibi's.  
Was this what love felt like?  
He felt alright with this, having Delic as his own seemed perfectly acceptable.  
"Delic… You have exactly five seconds to explain what I'm looking at before I kill you."  
The duo paused before Delic looked behind himself, Hibiya's gaze following him before paling considerably.  
"What does it look like, Roppi-chan," the host's voice was husky, sending shivers up Hibiya's spine.  
"It looks like you're trying to fuck my brother."  
"Well then you should not have asked since you already kne-"  
"Why."  
"Why what?"  
Roppi glared across the room, "Stop touching my brother and tell me why you were in the first place."  
"Maybe I just enjoy the courting more than the actual time together, hmm?"  
Roppi's glare turned murderous, "Hibiya, get your shit together and wait for me by the door."  
"What?" Hibiya could hardly function, let alone think through this. Was Roppi upset with him? He couldn't blame him-  
"You're going to simply send him away, Roppi-chan," Delic asked, still holding the prince.  
"No, we're both fucking leaving your lecherous ass." Roppi grabbed a vase nearby and tossed it across the room, "So let him go!"  
Delic dived, taking Hibiya with him, a quick murmur spoken into Hibiya's ear. Then there was coldness around him, the host standing up to receive an object to the chest. The duo began to yell, Delic gesturing in a serious manner before flicking Roppi in the forehead and heading for their room.  
"I DON'T NEED YOU DELIC! I CAN LIVE JUST FINE WITHOUT YOUR CHEATING ASS IN MY LIFE!"  
"OF COURSE YOU CAN! I WAS GETTING SICK OF THIS DAMN COUNTRY ANYWAY!"  
"I HOPE YOU GET HIT BY A CAR AS YOU LEAVE!"  
"VERY MATURE, ROPPI!"  
"STOP CALLING ME THAT DAMN NICKNAME! YOU ASS! FUCKING SEDUCING MY INNOCENT BROTHER!"  
"IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER, HE'S A BETTER FUCKING KISSER THAN YOU COULD EVER BE!"  
"GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!"  
"YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME TWICE! I'M GONE!"  
"GO DIE!"  
"LIKEWISE!"  
The front door slammed before Hibiya could fully register what the host had said. Tears spilling down his face as Roppi returned, coming in to wrap his arms around him and sigh. The brunet buried his face against Hibiya's back and sobs began. The prince felt like the room suddenly had no air, the room too crowded.  
At least this way, dear prince, you will always have your brother.  
Delic had lied, lied to keep him and Roppi on speaking terms.  
"Delic should die," Roppi murmured. "Fucking tried to get into your pants."  
"Yes…" Hibiya felt his world crumbling, heart aching to run after the host.  
His eyes fell upon a glimmer of red upon the bedroom floor and his heart wept in agony between what he wanted and what he should want.  
Yes, it seemed to be that God was not listening on this night.

~.~

What was love?  
The lights streamed through the club as Delic stepped inside, his clothing reflecting off the colors that flashed onto the crowd. Smiling flirtatiously to his people as he travelled around the Japanese club, welcome home, the place seemed to be saying. He was always at home in the sounds of the nightlife. His usual clients already set at their tables. He was unwilling to go to them just yet. Too soon, there was much life going on around for him to just do his job and go home.  
He had to live his life after all, might as well enjoy what he was doing.  
"DELI-CHAN!" Arms wrapped around his waist before he was laughing, turning around to bend over and claim the brunet's lips with his own.  
"Psyche!" The brunet was literally bouncing on his feet, looking up at him in pure excitement.  
"Deli-chan, it's even more packed than usual and the boss says he's going to quit and leave us the club soon so he can retire!"  
"Did he say that?" Delic could easily see that.  
"Yes! It's so exciting! I invited Tsu-chan to celebrate with us!" He squealed a split second later before Delic could even get a word in. As fast as the brunet had come, he was gone; sprinting at blink-fast pace into the arms of the blue-clad blond. "TSU-CHAN~!" The cry of the brunet was louder than any song or voice in the club. Tsugaru looked uncomfortable as usual in the place.  
Delic would never understand.  
He walked over only to shake his head, "back again, I keep telling you Tsu, I'm not looking for a threesome between us and little Psyche."  
Tsugaru shook his head, "as perverse as ever."  
"Deli-chan~ Don't pick on poor Tsu-chan~" Psyche pouted as he hugged the blond, nuzzling him. "Tsuggy-chan had a long day at work and is giving up sleep to be here with me tonight when he has to work tomorrow."  
"I was just teasing," Delic moved forward and hugged the blond as well, "Tsuggy-chan knows I love him just ever so much~!"  
"Delic… let me go." The blond was bemused by the statement, cheeks tinged now in red at hearing the brunet's latest petname for him being used by his cousin.  
"Aww, look Psyche!" Delic pinched the man's cheeks, "You gots Tsuggy-chan all embarrassed."  
Psyche looked up only for his whole face to glow, he leaned up and kissed the blond before giggling, "Tsu-chan has such a cute blush."  
"Psyche, please…" Tsugaru leaned down to meet the brunet's lips, "I am very tired."  
"Oh, yes. Yes. Come on, we can take a nap in the back while Deli-chan covers for me for a little while." He looked over at Delic in anxiousness, "Can you do that for me Deli-chan?"  
"Yeah, I can do that." Delic could feel the fatigue of dealing with Psyche's crowd of usuals already. The brunet was far more active than he was, usually with more rambunctious people too.  
"Yay, come on Tsu! I wanna show you where my office will be!" He dragged the poor man along towards the bar and Delic headed after them, figuring it was probably about time for him to get to work anyway. He rubbed at his chest, where a scar remained from those many months ago. He could still feel the emptiness inside himself.  
His life felt like everything was rearranged…  
Love, it was a mere dream, unreachable to him.


	6. Chapter 6

How does one just go on living after such an act?  
How does one just accept the cruel twists and turns that fate throws at them? Such a selfless act, one committed with the knowledge that never again would they be able to speak. No thank you would be given, no returned warmth or comfort.  
Hibiya wasn't even sure that he would have done the same thing, if he had been placed in the same situation; Delic had done so though, without even a moment of hesitation. He had lied for them both.  
"What a bastard," Roppi sat upon a nearby couch, filing his nails. "Just goes and starts working with Psyche. Of course he would feel no reservations about working with my cousin; not at all. He's probably fucking that stupid idiot of a cousin of ours into the ground. Psyche's always been a weakling."  
"We did tease him as youths, Roppi-san," Psyche had always been the most sensitive of the lot of them.  
"He needed toughening up!" Roppi glared over at him, ""He would cry over the most pathetic of things, and he was always liking the most girly things!"  
"We could have tried a different-"  
"Different what-"  
"Do not interrupt me peasant! I was speaking!" Hibiya threw a glare towards the other brunet and Roppi went silent. "As I was saying, Psyche is sensitive, we were foolish children not to try to understand and work with that and it is obvious that the lack of a father made it harder for him to be interested in things that his mother did not find safe."  
"Still, now he's working with that smooth talking bastard."  
Hibiya remained silent, his hands wrapping around the small music player he had found in Delic's old bedroom when he had run out. Every song, every single song he had found on that music player he had memorized. His mind flickering back to them every time he got upset or lonely. He had gone and apologized to Shitsuo, bowing before the man and telling him kindly that if he would like to return to working for him, he would appreciate it.  
He had turned his life around following the kindness that Delic had shown him. That didn't make the nights easier though. It didn't warm the cool evenings in his bed. There was a hole inside his heart that nothing filled. No longer did he feel like he was in control of anything. It felt as though he was standing on the outskirts of his own life, looking down at everyone from a throne, seeing their mistakes and feeling more compassion to them for those mishaps.  
"Hibiya?"  
"Yes?" Hibiya looked over at his brother.  
"You spaced out," Roppi frowned at him, a small touch of concern reaching his usual scowled features.  
"I was considering our options on the matter and am deciding to remain with my initial conclusion on the matter. Psyche will be fine. We cannot dictate his life like a pawn on a chess board."  
Roppi stared at him, eyes flashing.  
"What is it, Roppi?"  
"If I had told you of this problem a year ago, you would have not even hesitated to help me dictate over Psyche. You would have been rushing for the chance, now you won't even touch on the topic and you're defending Psyche… Psyche of all people. You were messed up when he left, I can see that you still are."  
"You are mistaken, Roppi-san. The only problem I can see here is that you are upset because Psyche might get intimate with your ex-lover. That is however your problem. I have no interest in coming into the middle of this problem. Now are we going to enjoy the tea Shitsuo brought out or are-"  
Roppi stood up, "you changed. Everyone changed. I hate this family. I hate all of you humans. Lying, hypocritical beings that you are, you will all find yourselves in pain at one point or another."  
"We move on though, Roppi-san. We find other people and we admit our faults. One cannot remain a petulant child forever."  
The brunet glared at him, "I'm not a child, Hibiya."  
"Thank you for visiting, Roppi-san." Hibiya picked up his cup of tea and Shitsuo returned to the room with food. Roppi didn't comment, merely turning on his heels and roughly moving past the butler to the door.  
"I assume that went well," Shitsuo said calmly, setting down scones upon the small table.  
"Yes, Roppi-san is claiming to hate all humans now. Quite disappointing really, but he was always quite impulsive."  
Shitsuo smiled a bit, "He is correct in saying that you have changed."  
"Have I," Hibiya removed his gloves and set them aside before picking up a scone.  
The butler shook his head, "a year ago, you would have had me punished for listening in on a conversation, now you merely continue the conversation and ask my opinion. You've grown a lot since I quit."  
"Your cooking has quite improved over the last year as well, Shitsuo-san."  
The butler began to blush slightly, "and never would I have heard you compliment me on anything of mine."  
"…" Hibiya fell silent for a moment, "I found out that I was behaving in such a manner unbecoming of my status. If I am royalty, I must act as one of royalty should. There will always be anger and hurt in others, but I cannot ride upon my white horse to each and every one of them. Taking sides will only bring me more problems than solutions. Roppi's anger is not my war, it is his. Therefore I must stand aside and let him resolve his own dispute. It is beneath me to act out in his name."  
"Of course," Shitsuo nodded, "Would you care for me to set up a bath for you, Hibiya-sama?"  
"No, actually, I believe I shall be stepping out for the evening. If you would be so kind as to hail me a taxi for the trip into Ikebukuro?"  
"Of course," he bowed before turning to make the phone call. As the door shut, Hibiya pulled the music player from his pocket, snatching his headphones connected to it before the music met his ears. Wrapping arms around legs, he rested his head upon his knees before shutting his eyes.  
The voice of the host met his ears, immediately conjuring his image upon the canvas of Hibiya's mind. The prince longed to reach out and pull him close as he heard the ballad of longing love. He could almost see the host singing it in person, see him looking at him specifically. To see him once more, to be able to thank him, but tell him his sacrifice was made for naught. He didn't need his brother if it meant that he was left alone for all eternity. He didn't want to be alone anymore.  
His heart cried for the host, just as the host sang that his cried back.  
He was just as torn being away as the host sung that he was.  
Why should they have to be alone for eternity? Why should they have to be alone for a moment longer? If he wasn't so far off from Psyche's workplace, he would have taken off on foot for the club, shoved the doors aside and taken back his host. He would have brushed aside any and all who stood in his way. He would have clutched that white suited man, grabbing his pink pin-striped shirt and pulling him close. There would have been no one to stand in his way this time, no Roppi to tear them apart.  
He would have brought the host home with him and broken down in his arms; showing weakness for the first time in his life to someone. Psyche was much stronger than the rest of the family in that he could be so open with anyone. He could admit his faults and people loved him for it. He was kind-hearted, happy…  
There was no way he could act in such a manner, but he could try to be better. For Delic, he would try. Old habits, he could not help his nature. It has been tenderly stroked that he was a prince and he should be harsh with everyone, but he liked Delic. He could try to be better with him.  
He would be better than Roppi could have ever dreamed of being.  
"Your highness?"  
Hibiya's head snapped up only to see Deli- no, Shitsuo standing before him. The butler frowned.  
"Are you feeling quite alright?"  
"I'm fine," Hibiya replied, shutting the music player off and shoving it into his tunic. He straightened himself and cleared his throat, "did you do as I asked?"  
"The taxi is awaiting you in the courtyard."  
"Ah, good. I shall be off then."  
"Do you have a time to which I should be expecting you back?"  
"I shall be staying with Psyche this night, I would like to inform him of my brother's behavior."  
"I see." Shitsuo frowned a bit, but Hibiya had no use listening to him any further. He moved through the hallways at a brisk pace. Delic would be at work now. Psyche usually went in at around this time. That meant he could go now before the place grew terribly crowded. He could see Delic again.  
By the time he reached the foyer stairs, he was running, sprinting down the stairs two at a time. He barely had gotten his shoes on by the door before he was racing down to the taxi, flinging the door open and slamming it shut just as his cape made it inside behind him.  
"Club Psychedelic Dreams now."  
The taxi driver glowered at him, but took off nonetheless. Hibiya could feel his heart racing in his chest, adrenaline rushing through his body at the thought that finally, finally he could find and take back what was his. He could finally see Delic again.  
The taxi suddenly wasn't fast enough, the time holding him back from the club was too much to bear. He was squirming in his seat. Patience had never been his forte. Quite the contrary actually, he was impatient.  
The host was just there, in the building suddenly appearing ahead of them. Were Hibiya any less of a prince, he would have had his hands and nose pressed to the glass in a childish manner.  
"Five hundred yen," the driver growled, Hibiya merely handing him the five hundred before rushing from the cab. He ignored the line, walking straight to the door and flashing the card Psyche had given him so long ago when he and Tsugaru had visited.  
Stepping in, Hibiya wanted Delic to be right there. He pushed through the people already there, ignoring his name being called excitedly from the bar until a pair of arms wrapped around his waist.  
"Hey- Ah, Tsugaru." Hibiya paused in his fury at the sight of his brother's lover.  
"Good evening, Hibiya-san." Tsugaru's blue eyes seemed to calm his racing heart, making him go lax in the man's arms. "It is a pleasure to see you've come to visit Psyche."  
"Siblings should be supportive of one another." Hibiya replied, finding himself being led by the man towards the bar.  
"You must be as bad at hearing over this music as I am. I think they make it loud enough that you can't even hear Psyche calling anyone." Tsugaru motioned ahead and Hibiya's heart skipped a beat.  
Beside Psyche, sitting in full glory in pink and white attire, sat Delic.


	7. Chapter 7

What would expect seeing someone you had quickly felt so drawn to? Someone who caused such significant changes to your life, all because of a single act? Hibiya wanted to run forth, to break from Tsugaru's grip and fling himself onto the host that sat before him. Nothing else seemed to exist when Hibiya saw the host sitting there so calmly, and when that magenta gaze moved slowly to meet his gaze, the prince could have sworn his heart just stopped beating in his chest.  
As quickly as life and everything seemed to stop, it sped up back to real time. Psyche rushed into his arms and laughed, "I'm so glad to see you Hibi-chan!"  
"It's still Hibiya, Psyche-san."  
"I should show you around! We have this great sound syst-"  
"Delic," the name came out of him before he could stop himself, his gaze glued to the host.  
"The one and only," the host stood up and flashed a teasing grin, kneeling only to grasp the prince's hand to kiss. "And who might you be?"  
Hibiya remained quiet at the host's words. Could he… actually not remember? Psyche squealed and hugged him again.  
"Deli-chan! This is my brother, Hibiya!"  
"Very fitting," Delic purred, giving Hibiya a heated gaze that reminded the prince of a starving man before a feast.  
"Mhmm! Hibi has been much nicer to me than to the rest of my family!" Psyche's arms tightened before Hibiya choked on air a bit. He pulled away from the brunet and cleared his throat.  
"Yes, well," Hibiya gave a forced smile, "I felt I should come visit my brother at work since you and Tsugaru both seemed insistent."  
"I'll show you everything!" Psyche cheered, practically bouncing in place. "We have this new sound system in the disc jockey booth that literally will make your ears ring if you don't be careful and then we have this great new drink mixer that wil-"  
"You seemed in an awful rush for someone wanting to see his family," the host commented, returning to his previous perch against the bar.  
"Is it a transgression to be eager to see family," the prince asked, suddenly not so interested in the host. He wasn't the same… not at all. The playfulness and intelligence seemed to be gone, leaving this jaded, snakelike persona before him.  
"Delic," Tsugaru wrapped an arm around the prince as he gave the host a warning gaze. The host merely shrugged laughing a bit before the bartender slid him over a bottle.  
"Forgive me, oh wise Tsugaru. I have work to do, unlike some," he laughed once more before shouting out, "Ladies, I got a Jagger bomb here and a list of names!"  
The squealing that rang out as the host was practically swarmed made both Tsugaru and Hibiya wince as Psyche continued to talk about the club.  
"Psyche," Tsugaru looked over at him. "I think I'm getting tired."  
"Aww, poor Tsu-chan," Psyche raced into his arms and hugged him tight. "Tsu-chan stayed up too long today. Tsu should go rest."  
"I think Hibiya-san looks tired as well." The kimono clad blond pointed out.  
"Oh no! But Hibi just got here," Psyche argued.  
"I don't think the club is his type of setting either," Tsugaru replied, pulling the prince towards the door.  
"Oh…okay…"  
Tsugaru smiled to Psyche, letting go of Hibiya long enough to give the pink-loving brunet a sweet kiss, "I'll see you when you get home, Psy-kun."  
"So cute…" Psyche touched his lips, blushing a bit as he smiled. His dazed, flustered moment was quickly overcome as he leaped for the blond and wrapped his legs around his waist, kissing him deeply. The two spent several moments in this state before Tsugaru pulled away with a long yawn. Psyche merely rested his forehead against Tsugaru's and stroked his cheeks with his hands, "Tsu-chan needs to go rest. I will come home as soon as my shift ends and we can spend time together again."  
"I look forward to it," Tsugaru replied, setting Psyche back on the ground.  
Hibiya turned for the door and quickly felt Tsugaru behind him.  
"Hibiya…"  
"I'm going to head home."  
"Hibiya-san."  
"I thank you for aiding me in leaving the-"  
The blond pulled him to a stop, making him look back at him. "Hibiya, you were here for Delic."  
"…I do not recollect-"  
"Hibiya, please do not lie to me."  
The prince went silent a moment, both listening to the sounds of the cars sweeping passed. "…He's not the same…"  
"Hmm?"  
"When I met him, Delic was different. He wasn't…"  
"He's been different since he came home." Tsugaru took a deep breath, moving forward to lead the prince along the city streets. "I apologize if he did anything-"  
"I beg of you Tsugaru, I don't have the patience for explanations this evening."  
"At least allow me to take you home-"  
"I am going to stay with Hachimenroppi this evening."  
The blond shook his head, "Psyche would appreciate having you stay with us. You both have quite a bit of catching up to do."  
"I'm afraid it will have to be another time."  
"Please," the word came out more as a plea than Hibiya felt the blond knew, "I think Psyche needs family more than you realize."  
"…I suppose, for tonight…" He was beginning to feel downtrodden. After so much hope, so much expectation; the host was nothing more than a figment of his imagination. How could he merely ignore that and move on?  
He had felt so drawn to the host, beguiled by him, but this…  
"Lead the way, Tsugaru-san."  
This was far too much for him to be able to cope with.


	8. Chapter 8

They walked quietly down the silent streets, their footsteps in time with one another. Lights flickered softly from a streetlight. Cars moved past them, a gentle purr emanating from the street. The cold wrapped around them like a shawl gently wrapping itself around his shoulders. Knots were forming though, along his back. This hollow feeling enveloped his chest. Again with the sight of the host, came the realization that he was just too far away.

Despite the fact that he was right here in the city, under the same stars as him, taking in the same city air, they were still so far apart. It didn't matter literal lengths. How could he be so distant? After… well, after such an act Hibiya had waited for him. He had changed himself. He had wanted to be a better person. He had wanted to be that selfless. What the host had done had been such a chivalrous act of pure devotion.

"Hibiya-san?" The prince's gaze flickered to the man who's hand rested upon his face a moment, Tsugaru wiped his tears away. "We have a long walk home and it doesn't look to be a pleasant one. Why don't you tell me what is wrong."

"It won't matter any," he murmured, sighing as his gaze flickered ahead. "I… I was naïve and childish, I went to Europe a while back and came home with a dream. It turns out that my dream was simply that and now I must wake up." That was right. There was no sense in dreaming beyond reality, it would hurt him, cripple him. He needed to put his feet on the ground and realize that the world would still revolve, people would still go about their business, cars would still zoom past; it was just a silly dream.

Maybe that was indeed what Delic had represented to him. Delic was the socialite representation he had set himself out to be. He had wanted to become something that may not have been his personality to begin with. He had wanted to be loyal and selfless, to be a figure of such strength and passion. He had wanted to just a moment maybe be that reason someone's heart just stopped in their chest.

"It sounds like someone else's story they told me," Tsugaru replied, once more capturing the prince's attention.

"Oh?"

The blond nodded, "I grew up knowing the man very well. He was doted upon until the next child was born. He was a carefree young man, but he was always holding such crippling fear of letting others down." Tsugaru shook his head, smiling a bit as he spoke, "he should have realized that everyone loved him so deeply. You should have seen him in school. He would hold such a fear in the beginning when others reached adolescence. He would reply so readily that he loved others too, but then when they wanted to know who he loved most, he would leave everyone, fearing that if he submitted to only one's love, he would lose the adoration and hurt others. He wanted to just be a source of happiness for everyone. That was his dream, you see. He was just a lonely boy looking for someone."

Hibiya thought about it, having the image of Tsugaru as a little boy come to mind. "You are not talking about yourself, are you?"

"Oh heavens, no. I was raised by my grandparents. Back to my story though, the boy grew so fearful of people hating him, he became a flirt, he involved himself in things to claim he was too busy for a steady relationship. It worked for him, he grew up, he went to school for a bit, and then he moved. He moved so far away that I could not see him anymore."

"How sad," Hibiya shook his head, "Surely you wrote to one another? Called one another on the phone?"

"We did, but there is so much lack of personality that can be found through these things." Tsugaru shook his head, "no matter how far technology has come, there is always something held back by the use of technology. You cannot see someone cry quietly through a phone, you cannot see them shiver from the cold. You cannot see them look exhausted."

"Your friend suffered?"

"Tremendously." Tsugaru paused, the prince following suit as they waited for the light to change so they could cross a road onto the next. "I tried to be there for him. I was so overjoyed for him when he found someone to be with, but something happened. I don't know anything though. We stopped talking for a long time, during that time I grew a bit lonely myself and grew to work more in my small home."

"You found Psyche though," Hibiya pointed out.

"That is much later in my story though, Hibiya." The light changed to green and they continued onwards. "I waited by the phone for word. I wondered from time to time about the man. I wondered if he was okay, if I should be concerned for him, but it was just my fear that he would not be okay. I held faith in him. When he did call, a couple times before the long pause, he was so happy. I had someone who he cherished dearly. And then at the end of that long pause of no phone calls, I arrived home to find the phone ringing. I answered and listened to a broken man. I listened to a hollow shell of the person I had known speak to me. He did not cry. He did not grow hysterical or yell. Instead a quiet voice spoke to me, and you know what he said?"

Hibiya looked at him, was his story about Delic? The thought hadn't occurred to him until Tsugaru had asked that. It sounded like him in a way. At least, it sounded like the man he had met in Paris. Silently, the prince shook his head, earning a small saddened smile from the blond.

"He told me that he had finally figured out what it meant to be in love. Love is the ultimate pledge, he had said to me during that phone call. It means that if they have the chance to be happy without you, you let them go. It means that no matter who you see and no matter who you meet after them, your thoughts are always returning to their love. I listened to him and kept asking, what happened? What's wrong? What is going on?" Tsugaru sighed and pulled his haori a bit closer, "the man wouldn't answer me though. He just kept saying 'Tsugaru, I want you to promise me this. When you find that someone that makes you feel like the very sun shouldn't revolve without them, I need you to grab ahold of them and declare your love immediately. Don't confuse any lesser feelings. When you see the person, when you are finally ready, your whole body and soul will tell you, Tsu. And… and when that happens you have to be after your love immediately, because your spirit cannot last without them."

"He sounds like he fell in love with someone else."

"That was my guess." Tsugaru shook his head, "I helped him return and he's doing okay now, but when I heard those words and made that promise to him, I really could never get them out of my head. It was within a few days after that that I ran into Psyche and just like that, those words ran through my mind, proving themselves true. "

"Psyche really loves you too," Hibiya stated, happy for the two of them. Seeing the softness that came to Tsugaru's eyes as he spoke about Psyche made his heart melt a bit, a small shadow of jealousy making itself present.

"I was so nervous myself over whether or not Psyche would want me. I merely offered him a moment to get out of the rain, walking to the very opposite side of town to where my apartment was just to see him home safely. I found myself changing all these usual habits and ideas of mine just so that I could be more like him. He was so happy, so full of energy. I wanted to be just like him."

"Wanted?"

Tsugaru chuckled, "It was after our second date that Psyche realized I was a very traditional and quiet enka listener. I didn't normally go to loud concerts or run around all over the place. That second date, Psyche insisted we go to my home and I got to watch him stare at all the things that made us so different. He turned to me and he started to cry. When I even started to try to console him, he said he had known all along that I was just a bit different. He hugged me close and he made me promise him that no matter what he wanted me to just be myself for him."

Hibiya shook his head, smiling a bit more, "Psyche said that that was the moment from which he knew he loved you."

"I loved him from the moment he came stumbling into my life, from the moment I saw him trip in that rain puddle."

It was such a sweet love story, one that made Hibiya grow quiet. He just had been so intent that he could have that happy ending with Delic. He was so looking forward to that dream, working so hard to change himself, but maybe he had tried too hard.

"Just do what you want to do, Hibiya-san." Tsugaru moved ahead and opened the door to the apartment complex where he lived with Psyche. "No matter what feelings you have, just do what you believe is right by them and you will be okay. Never let your fears and anxiety get to you. Always read between the lines and judge people upon their actions, never their words. The most upset love will push his love away if he thinks it will keep their love happy."

The prince's mind could only think of Delic's rushing from the Parisian apartment. His sprinting out into the darkness of night, just so that he could keep his happy relationship with his brother. It was so hard to think though. What Delic had said, the way he had cast him aside, but Tsugaru… Was Tsugaru trying to tell him that there was still a chance for himself and the host? Was he trying to make him understand that the host was upset?

He didn't know what to think about all this talk. Moving into the building and up to the apartment, the prince could only think quietly to himself.

What did he want? What was he to do?

He went to the couch immediately after removing his shoes, sitting and thinking quietly. He turned on the television to have some noise, accepting a cup of tea that came after a while from the blond who busied himself in the kitchen. He gazed off into space, his mind thinking over the course of the night. Delic had never asked him anything about before. He had asked him why he had come, why he was so eager…

Had he…

Had he thought that the prince would admit that he was there for him? He had been, but that had seemed like such a silly thing to say. The prince nodded off, his mind revolving around the many questions over the host. Tsugaru merely left his haori draped over the prince before he headed to the bedroom.


End file.
